Crude sex

what it is, why some people like it, and how to do it safely

 Many sex-related activities and habits are controversial, including rough sex. But not everyone wants it to be slow and emotional all the time. What is commonly referred to as "crude sexual behavior" can include a range of things, depending on your specific behavior.

What does rough sex mean

"When people talk about'rough sexual behavior,' they usually mean it involves painful factors, their invocation of physical energy, and the expectation that something unusual may happen," Mara Lei Marla Renee Stewart, sexologist at Lovers sexual health brand and retailer told Health.

Basically, if you want to make it rough, it's about how you do things—not necessarily what you do. "You can almost do any pornography sweetly, slowly, emotionally-or quickly, hard, and rudely," American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) certified sex educators and ACS Certified sexologist Barbara Carrellas told Health.

Rough sexual behaviors and postures may include role-playing, restraint, biting, nail digging, tough intercourse, violent oral sex or kissing, and any intense things you can do with your hands—such as slaps, hair blowing, Carrellas said, Pull, hit, grab, push and tear off clothes.

BDSM is an abbreviation for bondage, dominance, abuse, and abuse, and it also belongs to the rough gender category. The same is true for any sexual behavior that involves some degree of danger, risk, or offensiveness—even if it is not a physical attack, but more about offensive language, such as issuing or following orders.

When rough sex is out of bounds

It is important to distinguish between rough sex and sexual assault because there is overlap. "The key difference is consent and pleasure-sexual assault is never voluntary, but rough sex is always the case," Carreras explained. "Although rough sex is always centered on pleasure, sexual assault is never for pleasure."

The nuance between the two means that rough sex is a carefully negotiated exchange of power, taking into account what the recipient will be excited and the giver desire to give. Carrellas said: “For example, you can’t just agree to hit someone, for example, without knowing where the body can be hit and how to hit it without causing harm.”

Likewise, if you are doing avant-garde role-playing, you need to know if your partner has had any traumas in the role-playing in the past, and be prepared to respond to emotional triggers that occur.

Stewart said it's a good idea to have these conversations even if you haven't been traumatized in the past. "You don't want to be traumatized during sexual contact," she explained. She always advises her clients to talk about it outside the bedroom. If you are very shy, you can say "I have a friend who likes rough sex very much. What do you think about rough sex? Have you ever thought about trying it out? "forward? "

This way, you can understand what your partner might like or dislike, and then you can understand what constitutes rough sex for both of you-Stewart explains, this eliminates guesswork.

How to safely try rough sex

If you are new to rough sex, Stewart says scratching and biting are a good start. "Most people are familiar with the sensation of scratches, and a light bite can take it to the next level," she said. "You can increase the strength of scratching and bite according to the needs and needs of your partner at any time."

Although advertisements and movies are full of descriptions of rough sex, they are still considered avant-garde or restricted. Therefore, it is easy to feel strange to express the desire for it. Remember, if you like rough sex (or thoughts of sex), then what you want is not perverted or wrong—many other people want it too. "Try not to judge yourself, don't apologize for speaking out your wishes, and don't assume that your lover will think you are crazy and reject you," Carreras said. She recommends starting with something you have already done and liked, such as being held down during sex, or pulling your hair during oral sex.

After that, it's just a situation that lets your imagination take over. Ask yourself, what will happen before or after that? What else sounds hot? If you are shy or not sure what you want, Carrellas recommends that you read some erotic novels for inspiration, then share the best stories with your lover, and underline the parts that you find very popular. Or find the image you want to try and send it to your partner.

If you want to do something but are not sure if you know how to do it safely, Carrellas recommends contacting the BDSM support team (online or face-to-face) to find someone willing to show you how to do it correctly and safely. "Many people like it Rough sex and power exchange, and would be happy to help you have as much fun as they are having," she says.